Thursday, February 8, 2007

TRUST is true FAITH



"I've also concluded that whatever God does, that's the way it's going to be, always. No addition, no subtraction. God's done it and that's it. That's so we'll quit asking questions and simply worship in holy fear. " Eccl 3

The concept of not asking God questions has come up a few times in my devotions... Is God telling my to shut up? Not that I believe God doesn't want us to ask questions but He wants so much more and it goes beyond even just me being quiet to listen to Him.

The more I examine my life - the more the realization springs up that I have trust issues when it comes to God. I definately have a belief in Him and I definately love Him. I trust Him but only mostly. How can I tell? Well it is easy to state I trust God but my life in action does not often mirror that trust. Frustration, confusion, control and anger issues arise on a weekly basis. This of course is not a new realization for me. I work with youth and they point it out your inconsistanties incessantly and it humbles me. But the problem is that I am not getting over it even though I know it.

This is where these verses convict me. It is not just a relationship of communication with God... the act of talking and listening but the action of worshipping in holy fear. He is God and I am not. Its the realization that what is going to happen will happen. I can not stop it or control it or manipulate it. Evangelical church has always stressed so much about how WE need to refrain from sin and WE need to serve and WE need to grow in our relationship with God and WE need to evangelize... then with the quick but often too short addition of in HIS strength not our own. Because of this I feel like I am constantly searching and working to make things happen for God. There is this constant drive and fear about pleasing God. But true worship is not about 'WE' or even our work. Its about trusting He is in the good, bad and ugly of our lives and we work as we see HIM working. WE don't need to make these things happen but trust that He will and worship him. That is such a great gift of freedom. God doesn't need my striving... He wants me to stop and see HIM working in all His Glorious power. Gain trust from what I see and then work in the contentment that HE will get HIS way in the end no matter what. It is something my dutch friends here seem to understand... they have grown up in it. Although I do fear that you can trust so much that you can stop working.

I know this seems terribly obvious. Spiritual things once written down often lose their depth. Maybe this is because reading offers knowledge but often doesn't cause us to fully acknowledge the wisdom by living it out. I am not sure.

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