Lately, I am experiencing true and overwhelming bursts of joy. This joy is not just from happy moments but a delight in what God is up to overall. It comes from living in the present as much as possible so that I can experience God's presence. As I do my gratitude has increased substantially and my desire for more lessens. The author Mark Yaconelli has really encouraged me into this space. Well actually his son's story (4 year old) actually started this life changing journey. It is worth the read so here is the link.
http://www.ymsp.org/resources/slowclub.html
Here are some quotes from his book Contemplative youth ministy that best describe what is going on within me...
"Contemplation means "being" with God within the reality of the present moment. Contemplation is about presence. It's about attentiveness - opening our eyes to God, ourselves and others. Contemplation is an attitude of the heart, an all embracing hospitality to what is. Contemplation is a natural human disposition. It's the way in which we appoached the world as children: vulnerable, open , and awake to the newness of the present moment.
We've all experienced being contemplatively present. Even as our adult minds become distracted and burdened with worry, we still receive times of contemplation, times of simple presence. These are unrehearsed moments when a deep sense of gratitude falls upon us and we find ourselves without need or want, satisfied and reverent at the Mystery of life. They are moments when we feel alive to people and situations before us. Like love, contemplative awareness is not something we acheive; rather it comes as a gift, simply to be received.
Ignatius of Loyola reffered to contemplation as "seeing God in all things." Brother Lawerence called it "the pure loving gaze that finds God everywhere." Jean Pierre de Causade defined contemplation as "the sacrament of the present moment." Teresa of Avila referred to this experience as "Awareness absorbed and amazed."
...These definitions of contemplation, I believe, are descriptions of how Jesus was present to others. He engaged people with openness and honesty, unafraid to take a "long loving look at the real" - at the people and situations he encountered."
The best part is God has always been nudging me into this sweet spot. Every year, my dry and weary body is dragged to someone that offers this contemplative drink but every year I have wandered away again. The past couple years God has kept me in it for longer and longer periods. This past year, I have not sucumbed to absolute burn out because of it. It is the key to life in my opinion. It is to be led by the Spirit, to rely on God's strength and to rest in stillness before the ONE.
I still have moments when I am distracted, start to falter and feel the stress and anxiety return. I have become so aware of the difference that it does not take long to stop what I am doing because I know something is wrong and refocus on God. Like Mark says " being aware of God in the present moment is always a struggle. We live a complex age that demands that we multi-task. We grow up trained to attend to many commitments at once. Our minds and imaginations often drift toward the future or dwell in the past. Yet is there any greater gift we experience in this life than that of another person's full attention? Is there anything more loving than to be fully see or heard by another? Didn't most of us become Christians when we sensed that God was present to us?"
I wish I was better at not getting distracted but I take encouragement from some wise words given to me from Amy..."i got real encouragement from psalm 23 again this weekend that just came to mind that may help... just concerning any kind of shadows in life...the message was about how they are always going to be there. and the object was not to get rid of them or try to control them (striving to figure out the unknown) but rather once again about looking to the shepherd that leads us to righteousness. and shadows always look and appear way bigger then they actually are...which is just a lie." It is all about seeing that He is God and I am not.
"The more we receive in silent prayer, the more we can give in our active life. We need silence to be able to touch souls. The essential thing is not what we say, but what God says to us and through us. All our words are useless unless they come from within. Words which do not give the Light of Christ increase the darkness." Mother Teresa of Calcutta
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